Friday Night Forever (book in progress)

Friday Night Forever

Hey Fat, I love you. You probably already know most of these things and I could tell you in person, but something about giving you a book felt right. These are the things I wish I knew before I started playing football. I did not think I would ever get to this, but the corona gave me some extra time. It means a lot to me that you exist. I always wanted a little brother and I could have not asked for a better one. I think most of the time you don’t need my advice because you already know. Sometimes I see you and I see myself 10 years ago. It makes me worried because I know the struggles I went through at your age. I know if I can get through it you can too. And maybe we are more different than I think. Just know I am always here. There is nothing in this world I love more than you. I am crying as I type this.

This book will consist of short chapters offering advice you can use hopefully throughout high school. A lot of it is knowledge I gained from the coaches at vista, my experience or dad. Feel free to skim off chapters if you understand the point or coming back to them later. Some topics could be a book within themselves while others could be summed up in a sentence. I hope you enjoy and maybe learn a thing or two.

Be Yourself

When I was goober and watched Disney Channel they use to always say “Be Yourself”. I had no idea what that meant. Like if I act, like someone else isn’t that inherently me? What does it mean to “Be Yourself” and what is “Yourself”? It took me a long time to understand what it actually meant to be yourself. Once you do figure it out it becomes one of the most freedom giving experiences.

To put it simply, to be yourself is to do what you like to do. You think Taylor Swift is hot (me and me only)? Then Taylor Swift is hot. You like to listen to Childish Gambino? Then you like to listen to Childish Gambino. You still wearing whitie tighties because you think they’re tight? Then they tight. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. You don’t have to do anything that is perceived as cool. The coolest thing you can do is to speak the truth and like what you like. In other words to be yourself.

This can be done with very surface level things, but also at deeper level. You believe in God? Pray before the game. You don’t think it is okay to talk about girls in the locker room like they’re a piece of meat then don’t do it. You might receive some backlash from your teammates, but here is the thing - your teammates don’t know any better. They are just trying to fit in the locker room and be cool. Or maybe they come from a different background then you and don’t understand your principles. This is why it is also extremely important to know who you are.

What do you believe? Why do you believe it? Are you willing to build that wall and defend it? This is a subject that could be another entire book. The point is these things are important and you should have a foundation. The best thing you can do is speak the truth. Speak what you believe to be true at the time and act out those things. You believe in a God. You believe Jesus came down and died for your sins was resurrected from death 3 days later. Hold onto your foundation and do not be ashamed. If you believe this, this is you. Embody yourself and be yourself.

I try extremely hard to be myself. My pastor, Charlie, laughed at me when I told him this. It is a weird statement to make, but hopefully at this point you understand what I mean. It is very easy to slip into doing what society wants you to do instead of doing what you want to do. Now there is a balance here. You do need to adjust to society to some extent. For example, when you come home smelly from a workout. You might think youre fin and that this is just “yourself”. But here is the thing, do you want to be smelly? Do you want other people to think you smell? Do you want to be a distraction? No. Obviously there is nothing wrong with being smelly, but when it comes to being yourself you have to take in consideration what society thinks about you. If you can come to rational or even common sense conclusion of what you are doing is okay then you should do it. They way sit in a lockerroom is not going to be the same as when you sit in for an interview at your first job. Be yourself, but in a way that is proper and considerate of the society you are in. If you are truly unhappy with how you must act within a society then either something is wrong with that society or something is wrong with you. That topic is for another book, but something to know.

The reason I bring all this up is because once you truly understand you can just be yourself you will have so much more freedom. You do not have to act a certain or try to be something. You are already cool. You can just be yourself and do what you like to do. I have seen you do this already and I think you have grown out of it, but most of middle schoolers lives are spent trying to prove they are not gay. Which is sad and hilarious. Here is the thing though, ask yourself, are you gay? No. Then why do you care if other people think you are? You know who you are. There is nothing you need to prove to anyone. You don’t need to sleep with a girl to prove you are not gay. You don’t need to do that to prove you have game. Again, who are you? What do you want to represent? What do you want to be? Are you doing these things because you want to or because society is pressuring you to do them? This is why it is important to know who you are and who you want to be. It is okay to change your opinion as well. That is a part of being human. I don’t think peer pressure is inherently a bad thing either. There is a few things I did out of peer pressure that I am grateful that happened. I just don’t want you to waste your time worried about what other people may or may not think about you. If you know who you are then feel free to tell people who you are and why that is if you can. Do not feel like you have to do something to prove that to them. And if you are gay (I don’t think you are), then I don’t think I am the one to offer advice on that except to say there is nothing wrong with you and I love you. Again, a totally different book.

Why be successful?

Freshman year I remember having a conversation with our sister Allison. I said words I have already heard you speak. Words I now envy and vow to live against. We were walking from my English class, at least that is how I remember it. She said something, I don’t remember what. I responded, “Why does it even matter?” referring to my English class. I knew I could pass my classes. I did not see the reason in putting in more effort. Why do I need to go to some big wig college? What’s the difference between an A and a B? I have heard you say it, “I don’t think I want to try that hard in school”. Realllll sweaty bro. cap. I hope my response struck a chord, “What are you going to do? Play video games?”. The answer is within the question. There is a deep psychology behind it. You know the answer. I did not have to tell you. You answered it yourself. I just had to implement the idea to change your ideology. It is important that you have multiple conscious answers to this question that you look at frequently in case it continues to haunt you. What do you want? What are you willing to sacrifice in order to have it? Why do you want it? What if you receive what you want and it is not what you thought it would be? Would it then still be worth pursuing? These are the questions no high school teacher presented to me. I had them within my mind. They consumed me in college. I am going to have you answer these questions for you by presenting you with arguments for them.

Why be Successful? The underlining the question lies within another book. I will give you basic arguments because you are a basic kid. “Why be successful?” Again, my response would be do you want to be unsuccessful? The answer is, no. Why do you want to be successful? Because there is a lot of problems going on this world. People are starving. People are dying. People are out to get you and take you down. Eventually you and every memory you have will die along with every memory there ever was when the sun burns up in a billion years from now. Yet, you are here. Your existence itself is unlikely, but you are here. God has placed you here to pursue him and bring good amongst the world. You have the opportunity to see the problems of the world and fix them. You don’t have to fix all of them. But even if you can impact one person in a good way there is life within that. The more successful you are the more good you can bring upon the world. I would define success within these boundaries. That you are doing the most good you possibly can. Think of all the problems you have. Can you work to fix those? If you can that is a good thing. Now can you fix other people’s problems? Maybe? See if you can. Serve God. Serve the everlasting goodness.

What do you want? D1 scholarship. That is awesome. Go for it. But how bad do you want it? what are you willing to sacrifice to obtain it. Do you actually want it? Can you think bigger than that? Think of a dream that you are afraid of? What is the best opportunity that you can do that could put you on the trajectory to obtain something like that? Why do you want that? What if you receive what you want and it is not what you thought it would be? Would it then still be worth pursuing?

How do you become successful?

How do you become successful? High school will set you on a trajectory that can define the rest of your life on earth. Your accomplishments in academics will determine the majority of this. College is required to be successful, the better the college the better the opportunity and more options in life (ivy league), college would be more affordable, nobody wants to be stupid, foundation of education for the rest of your life, you have to do it anyway so give it your best go.

Firs of all, Academics are more likely to get you any scholarship than any sports team. I got half my tuition paid for because of my academics. All that student leadership I did in college covered less than that.

How to Learn

Coaches tell you to run, but they don’t tell you how let alone why. Most of high school can be spent going through the motions. In all honesty, you will have some amazing humans as public high school teachers, but it does not necessarily mean they are amazing teachers. Amazing teaches are rare. These teachers will teach you the curriculum required. Ensuring you pass tests and get a high school amount of education. If you are lucky, they will give you some information outside the book and maybe even offer their opinion on topics. There is a lot to learn, but how do you learn and why do it at all?

How do you learn? Freshman year I took a biology class with Mr. Nicholas. In biology and any medical field memorization is everything. Memorize the layout of a cell, the eco system, the bones in a cat (fat tachalla). He gave us a blank piece of paper and put a picture of the anatomy of cell on the projector. He said copy this, go home, get another blank piece of paper and copy it again. Do this until you can do it without looking at the original for reference. This is one form of learning.

I was speaking to someone who was born near the middle-east, I don’t remember where. She was taught in school how to memorize everything. They would give students a book and say memorize it word for word. This is how Pharisees in the bible remembered the word of God. I thought this was interesting and incredible as if you are like me, I am naturally terrible at memorization. It takes me a lot longer than other students to memorize anything. Still to this day I can’t remember lyrics to my favorite songs. The idea of memorizing an entire book seemed extraordinary. But this is not unordinary to the idea of humans. We are capable of memorization. It is simply a matter of will and a difference of time based on the individual.

What was more astonishing was her story of how when she made it to America her new school teacher asked her in class what she thought about a subject. She did not understand the question. She had never been asked about her opinion. She was simply taught to memorize material. The next form of learning would be critical thinking. Why did something happen? Is it good that it happened? What would you have done differently? You will find this in history. Yes, you can memorize the name of leaders and wars. What is more important is that you understand why certain things happen. Then you must understand that you do not have all the information and you could be being lied to. There is general facts in history and it is fine to form conclusion you later find out to be false once more information is revealed, but you should be aware that you could be wrong while trying to form an opinion on the subject.

Next you have math which is simply arithmetic. Take good notes in these classes. Do the homework. Memorize what you have to. If you don’t know how to do a problem then go out of your way to figure out the answer to the question.

Spanish, study and memorize. Understand the language is different in the sense that they use grammar differently and say things that would be abnormal in English.

Do the homework. Missing one item can drastically bring down your grade.

Study for quizzes and tests. You should know when they are and be prepared for them.