What is Social Media?

What is social media?

I have been thinking for a long time as to what social media is and why do we choose to use it. We’ve heard how terrible it is for our mental health by why do we still "choose" to log on? Why is it bad for the younger generation and may be bad in a different way for the older generation? I will explore these notions and make some assumptions.

I log onto social media to see what is happening between my friends, influencers, and celebrities. I feel some sort of connection to all of them. I find myself unconsciously going on my phone frequently scrolling through to see what is going on in the world. I want to feel connected to everything. We all want to be connected to society. Quality relationships are directly related to individual happiness. What is social media doing to reverse this effect?

My epiphany was that every time I log onto Instagram I am seeing all the things I am not doing. Instagram, like many things of today, is a form of escapism, or an escape from reality. I don't have to log onto a desktop computer and load into a fantasy role-playing video game to escape. I can go straight to the fantasy world from anywhere. Social Media is seconds away at more times than not. Instead of staring at the wall waiting for my food to arrive, I'm in my curated fantasy world of the internet.

The problem is it’s an illusion. I am lying to myself about the reality I am in and I know it. I am not receiving the positive effects that quality relationships bring because I am not a part of the social interaction enough to consider it a quality relationship. The only thing worse than not having a relationship is being in one of poor quality. In my evolved head I think I am there with my friends experiencing their world, but in reality, I know I am not. I know I’m stuck at this less exciting place. I also know that if I was at a more exciting place I would not be on my phone. I am watching peers who are doing something I wish I was doing. My brain is doing all of these calculations without my notice. This creates an environment where I compare myself to what I am seeing on my phone. It is me experiencing a boring moment in life, looking at the poor quality relationships I have and how amazing everyone else's life is.

This is a drastic comparison creating a terrible environment to be in. Instagram creates an ideal environment. It has perfect boxes with perfect photos. It’s an art form that shows everyone at their best. Even when people are open about looking their worst on social media I romanticize it and find it beautiful in a way. It is as if I wish I could experience their pain or laughter of embarrassment. No matter the content posted, we have this tendency to want to be there and feel what the user is portraying. We experience this ideal through Instagram and then compare it to our world right now at the moment. The perfect photo might have been posted 9 hours ago, but you are seeing it right now. There’s somewhere you would rather be. Somewhere you’d rather escape to, but you’re not there. Viewing it through the Instagram lens feels better at the moment, but it is slowly killing us drip by drip.

Is Instagram a competition? Most would say no. I do not believe them. Arguably everything is a competition. Why would you post something when you could just send the photo to your friends or family? Why would you let fringe people you barely talk to into your life? Why do you check how many likes you get?

It is not whether or not Instagram is a competition, but whether you believe life is a competition. Arguably no, but in ways, we cannot deny we believe it is. I compare myself to others, especially my peers. I check to see who is married, who has kids, who has a house. Then I ask myself, "do I want that? Am I jealous? What did they do right? What did they do wrong?" My comparisons are directly related to the environment we're in. They would be very different if I lived in an improvised society with no internet access. A well-functioning society consists of an environment where individuals are able to climb a hierarchical structure within their society. Social media creates an environment where you see the top 1% of everyone's life. By putting ourselves into this society and not being in the 1% ourselves it gives us this unattainable feeling that we are worthless in this society and have no possible means of joining those at the top.

At this point, I see a psychologist suggesting we take some next steps like limiting our screen time or getting off social media. Personally, I am addicted. I find it incredibly hard to step away. I also find myself to be contributing to the problem. Only posting my coolest and favorite moments. Putting myself in my best light. I want to fit into the 1% society I see online.

My suggestion on what can we actually do? Know what we’re doing. I don’t think parents fall into the mental health traps that younger generations do because they chose their life a long time ago. It is too late for them to change the path they're on, hence their comparisons are established. At this point, they just want to hold up their trophies of accomplishments. We younger people still have something to prove. We don’t have trophies we want to hold up yet. We’re all competing right now. It’s stressing us out. We’re keeping up with Jone’s that live around the world (everyone online) and have infinite money (the combination of everyone's money). Instagram is made up of individuals, but we see it as one individual in our mind that is the best-looking, most fun, traveling, and comedic hero. Our minds have us trying to compete with a person who does not exist.

Compare yourself to yourself (that seems impossible). I think if we had an actual solution we would be doing it. That’s why I say we should be aware of what social media could be doing to our minds. I’m personally in a good mental state and I have been for a while. I think a large part of it is because I am doing what our parents are doing. I have accepted the trophies I have accomplished. Other people might not see them as trophies, but I am proud of myself and see them as so. I am working on accomplishing other trophies, but I know why I don’t have them yet. I am aware of where I am at in life and am okay with that. I am where I am because of the life decisions I made, what I was given and the age I am. I don’t regret any of those things and I have a lot to be grateful for. I hope you can say the same thing and actually believe it and if not, it is not too late to do something you would be proud of to ultimately create a trophy of your own.